


In the Navy (Buh Buh Buh Buh Buh Buh)

by MerrickGreen



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 13:12:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14449989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerrickGreen/pseuds/MerrickGreen
Summary: For the 1500 word/1500 VMHQ Follower Challenge.  Veronica has some trouble convincing Seth to help her set up Tad Wilson.  Takes place during 1.20 M.A.D.





	In the Navy (Buh Buh Buh Buh Buh Buh)

Veronica Mars was running out of time. Running through the empty Neptune High courtyard, the afternoon sun glared over the school’s flattop roof into Veronica’s eyes, obscuring the striped shirt-wearing figure that she was chasing.  
  
“Seth!” Veronica called, causing the dark-haired figure to turn. The Caesar-coiffed boy did an about-face, revealing the red t-shirt under his half-open pink button-down and sauntered closer to Veronica; although the flamboyantly gay senior was only average height for a guy, he still loomed well over Veronica’s 5’1 stature.  
  
“Yes?” the boy asked with coy suspicion. Although both Veronica and Seth were among the marginalized plebeians that suffered at the well-manicured hands of the ‘09ers, Seth had no particular reason to like or help social pariah Veronica Mars.  
  
“I’m glad I caught you,” Veronica panted, winded from her sprint. “I was hoping you could do me a favor.”  
  
“Mmhmm...” Seth acknowledged, looking her up and down. “Personal shopping advice costs, but I like the raw material. You’ve got this whole ‘murder pixie firebrand’ thing going on - I can work with that.”  
  
Sapphire eyes flashing with barely-restrained anger, Veronica held back from snapping at the boy she wanted help from, and instead gleamed a broad, falsely sincere smile that may have still read ‘murder pixie.’ “Thanks, Seth. That’s actually not what I was going to ask you for.”  
  
“Well what, then? I’m pretty sure you don’t need my help with homework,” the boy said to the diminutive blond honors student.  
  
“I want to make it look like Tad Wilson is gay,” the pint-sized PI replied stonily. “I want to set him up, to know what it feels like to live with the public humiliation that he inflicts on you every day.”  
  
“So, what, being gay is a punishment now?” the extravagant upperclassman decried. “Or maybe it isn’t bad enough yet, so we need to make everyone think we’re all assholes like Tad, with an extra side of self-hate too? Give me one reason why I should.”  
  
“He’s made your life hell the past two years,” Veronica pointed out. “Just this afternoon he scorned you about the prom, and that’s just the tip. He’s never passed up an opportunity to mock you for having sex with guys. He’s insulted you, started malicious rumors that got you in trouble with the administration, and he’s just one of the many ‘09ers who revel in your misery while he flaunts his parents’ money and he and his friends’ ability to get away with whatever he feels like. The whole lot of them have done nothing but persecute for years.  
  
“He hates that he might be anywhere on the Kinsey scale, and being thought of as gay is the worst punishment he could get for victimizing you as he has.”  
  
“Yeah, still passing,” Seth told the incisive and vindictive sleuth. “Gay identity isn’t something I think I want to be weaponized, thanks for asking. Anyway, I’m out of here in a month and Tad is going to have live with own disagreeable company. Making him miserable might bring happiness to your murder pixie heart, and I certainly wouldn’t mind knocking Private Homophobe down a peg or two, but the short-lived joy isn’t worth playing into the destructive stereotype. Oh, and look, here the fairy is passing up on cheap instant gratification – so much for typecasting today! Anyway, good luck with whatever it is you’re doing.”  
  
Veronica steamed as Seth began to turn away. She had promised Carmen Ruiz that she would help get Carmen out from under Tad Wilson – literally. Carmen’s one-time boyfriend and current blackmailer was insisting that she stay with him, and sex was definitely a prerequisite in “dating” the Navy-bound extortionist. If Veronica failed Carmen, and let a jerk like Tad Wilson take advantage of her – it was a betrayal Veronica wasn’t sure she could live with. Veronica knew all too well what it felt like to have sex you didn’t want, and for the entire school to brand you a slut and mock, insult, and revel in your misery afterwards. Veronica wouldn’t let Carmen suffer the same.  
  
“Wait!” Veronica called, a desperate catch in her voice. The last resort then – honest vulnerability. “Tad is coercing Carmen into staying with him. I need your help to stop it.”  
  
Seth angled his body back to look directly at Veronica, her straight blond hair draping forward but failing to obscure the intense gaze from her azure orisons. The downtrodden upperclassmen gauged each other for the space of three slow heartbeats before Seth nodded a resigned acquiescence.  
  
“Why me?” he asked.  
  
“You’re the only upperclassman who’s both openly gay and can believably score drugs,” Veronica reported. “To get a credible story that Tad is hooking up with someone it has to be you. The fact that he’s so publicly reviled you gives the story extra weight.”  
  
Seth’s dark-eyed gaze shadowed, for the first time his exaggerated mannerisms showcasing anger. “You almost had me convinced,” Seth growled. “I’ve heard the rumors about you, but I didn’t think you’d stoop so low.”  
  
Veronica matched the gay senior’s heat with derision and unbridled fury far outstripping his own. “Rumors?! Which ones exactly? That I fielded the whole baseball team? That I like it a little freaky? That I spy on Duncan Kane? That I send him pictures of myself? Which exact piece of ‘Veronica does Dallas’ makes you think I’d lie about Tad Wilson and Carmen Ruiz?”  
  
“The part where you helped notorious narc and BFF Wanda Varner in her presidential campaign, and then come out of nowhere asking me to sell drugs to a guy who hates me!” the boy shouted back. “Even if you’re not going to rat me out, Tad sure is!”  
  
“Well you don’t give him REAL drugs!” Veronica roared back, the final word echoing slightly around the ketchup-colored fiberglass tables interspersed through in the open-air courtyard. Abashed, both Seth and Veronica craned their heads to see if any teachers had overheard the shouting about illicit activities, and covering for the embarrassment of erroneously thinking ill of the other. Veronica wasn’t trying to set up Seth, and Seth didn’t care what nonsense the ‘09ers had been spreading. They stood before each other, Seth awkwardly scratching the outside of a bicep through his pink striped shirt.  
  
“How would you feel about giving Tad a couple of extra strength laxatives that look like XTC?” Veronica offered tentatively, once it became obvious that they hadn’t drawn any unwanted attention.  
  
“That would make for a very memorable prom,” Seth agreed. “Seaman Wilson and Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo doesn’t exactly scream ‘traditional couple’, but I think it’s a match made in heaven.”  
  
“So you’ll do it?” Veronica confirmed. “’Weaponizing’ homosexuality? I hope it’s only needed as a deterrent, but there’s no telling how stupid Tad is.”  
  
“Yeah, well, abusing gay culture isn’t as bad as actually raping a person,” Seth retorted. “I think I can live with my offended sensibilities knowing we’re doing the right thing. Having our potential prom king sitting on the porcelain throne all night will lessen the sting. Now, where do I get these laxatives you mentioned?”  
  
“Right here,” Veronica said with a self-satisfied smile, handing over a folded-over paper square, pills hid snugly and unobtrusively inside. At Seth’s overdrawn eyebrow-raise in evident surprise, Veronica merely responded “be prepared.”  
  
“And you’re sure these look like X?” Seth asked dubiously.  
  
“Positive,” Veronica answered confidently. “I had an expert make them – the only way to tell what they are is to eat one, and hopefully Tad will be too drunk at prom to realize the difference until it’s too late.”  
  
“Hunh,” the senior grunted appreciatively.  
  
“Hang out by the Neptune boardwalk midway this afternoon, I’ll set up to take pictures,” Veronica ordered. “Tad’ll try to hit you up for the E sometime around 5, 5:30 – it’ll take a bit for Carmen to get him good and drunk.”  
  
“Five o’clock? What am I supposed to do on the Neptune boardwalk until then?”  
  
Veronica looked Seth up and down appraisingly, taking in his Caesar cut framing his dark eyes, his red t-shirt and red-and-pink striped button-down shirt over blue jeans. “You can buy yourself something pretty, but I like the raw material. You’ve got this whole flamboyant sarcastic hero thing going on – I can work with that,” the blond girl smiled mischievously.  
  
Seth shook his head and muttered to the small-statured sleuth, “I’ll see you there. You need a ride?”  
  
“Actually, I need to drop off my car at the shop, but I could use a ride back from the beach. You mind parking your car with a good view of the boardwalk midway so I have a place to set up?”  
  
“Sure thing,” Seth agreed with a smile. “After all, you just got Tad to pay for dinner and gas money,” he said, waggling the folded paper. Veronica laughed as she turned and walked back towards the school parking lot, leaving the senior to continue across the courtyard, the way he had been going before Veronica had interrupted. Fleecing one of the ‘09ers that had made Veronica’s life hell for the better part of two years was certainly cause to rejoice.  
  
Walking to her car, Veronica saw the face of an ‘09er ringleader, one of those most responsible vilifying her since Lilly Kane’s death. The boy made Veronica’s heart skip a beat, pulse set to racing as Veronica slowed her now-anxiety-filled approach to her car. The tall figure languidly leaned against Veronica’s black LeBaron, his gray windbreaker piped with purple accents, open over a gray t-shirt and bead necklace.  
  
“Apple?” Logan Echolls asked, crunching into the ripe red fruit in his hand, swallowing and offering Veronica a bite. Veronica ambled the rest of the way to Logan, ignoring the proffered apple and cupping the back of his neck before bringing the tall rogue close enough to bite his lower lip and taste the sweet juices left behind. Surging her lips against his, running her left arm under his jacket, around Logan’s back and feeling the heat emanating from his body through his thin t-shirt, Veronica pressed as close she could before Logan needed to break for air. Sucking in a contented breath through his nose, Logan exposed the signature puckish grin Veronica had put there. After several weeks of illicit hookups, both the thrill of kissing Logan and the delight in knowing that Veronica could provoke such a reaction remained a heady intoxicant.  
  
“So, what’s the plan, Stan?” Logan smirked, nostrils aflare.  
  
“Thanks again for those fake X tabs. I gotta drop my car off to fix the alternator,” Veronica panted, a bit winded herself from the intense embrace. She needed to hurry and get to the boardwalk to get the photos for Carmen.  
  
Veronica stared into Logan’s sable irises. She was running out of time.  
  
“Then back to your place?”


End file.
